mandyhubbard (mandyhubbard) wrote,

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The Many Stages of Rejection

For your reading enjoyment, I give you: THE MANY STAGES OF REJECTION.

You get: A form rejection.

Your Response: 
THOSE BASTARDS! They didn't even type my name in! Obviously they don't know good material if it smacks them in the face. Which I want to do. Smack them in the face, that is. I'm totally taking the high road, though. I won't do it. I'll just imagine it.


You Get: A slightly personalized form rejection

Your Response: THOSE BASTARDS! They didn't even spell my name right! They'll know how to spell it next year when it's at the top of all the bestseller lists!! They will RUE THE DAY they said no to me!


You get: A personalized rejection

Your response: THOSE BASTARDS! They think there is SOMETHING WRONG with my book!! What the hell do they know? Clearly they're not cut out for this business because this is the next GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL! I'll be laughing my way to the bank soon, and they'll be poor and destitute!! Maybe I'll visit New York and LET them polish my shoes for $5. Becuase I'll be so rich I'm going use five dollar bills as KLEENEX!


You get: An offer of representation

Your response: THOSE GENIUSES!! Someone recognizes my awe-inspiring talent! CLEARLY, this person is the SMARTEST person in the industry!
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