March 18th, 2008

YOU WISH

Hypothetica Fortune Cookies

Today i got a fortune cookie which read, "You shall hear from a long lost relative soon."

Talk about lame. I dont even HAVE any long lost relatives. Until recently every cousin I had still lived in the same cow-town--all ten of them. In fact, all my aunts and uncles (except one who moved an hour away) also lived in town. So, I was annoyed at such a lame fortune. 

So instead I bring you, "fortunes which would have been better."

1) The EDITOR WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED is going to fall in love with your project and buy it. Quickly.

2) Go ahead and sue that company you're mad at. You'll get millions. Millions, I tell you.

3) A film deal is in your future. 

4) Your daughter's first word will be 'BOOK'.

5)  When Prada hears you wrote a book called PRADA AND PREJUDICE, they will send you free shoes.